Where am I?

Sometimes people struggle in times where thinking hurts, and understanding seems too far away to reach. I find myself asking, why am I here? Where is here? Why is everyone around me so closed minded? Sometimes, this confusion turns into fear, like walking on a rope, one small mistake, a misunderstanding turns into devastation. Beginning to realize that people are not who they are and they wear happiness like a mask also adds to the fear of misunderstanding and confusion. Am I being used? Are they telling the truth? Who is telling the lies? Who is biased? Who listens? Who cares? These questions constantly replaying endlessly in my head. My experience in life is probably as little as a 5 year old's experience, but it is what I learn from other's experiences and books that I now understand that there is more to everyone than just smiles and laughs. Everyone has their unexposed identity, their true unexplored selves. They hide it, pretending like they have no care in the world, but if you begin to dig deeper, and question their happiness, you being to find their hidden selves. I do not mean that everyone has a deep dark secret and everything they do is a cover up, but that it is sometimes reflected and hinted in the slightest ways that someone is hiding something, vs. someone who tells you everything. Belonging is a big word, it's meaning is so rich that it often keeps me thinking for days. What is home? Where is home? Who are the people around me? How am I different from them? When you begin to realize that your belonging is merely an illusion, a big fat lie that you have been telling yourself for years, you begin to break away, you begin to open up. You find people who you never talk to, have more in common with who you found yourself to be after breaking the wall of ignorance, the way you view people begins to change. Whoever invented the concept of having a balanced life is simply a fool who lied to himself and managed to convince himself that life can be balanced between family, religion, social life, academic life/ job. It is almost completely impossible to have a balanced life, unless you are lying to yourself. But no matter how unbalanced your life is and not matter what problems you face, only be thankful, look to the people around you, listen to their stories. Your life will in some cases feel meaningless compared to what other people face and you get that boost of motivation to try and underestand them and help them, to have an impact on their lives, no matter how small.